Before I dig in on this round, I’d like to apologize for the absence.

I came down with a cold on Wednesday, and it’s still clinging to me, with sinus pressure, headaches, coughing, sneezing…the usual.

Bear with me, please, I ask. I’ve started this challenge, and I aim to see it through.

19. Five items you lust after

Here alone, I could break it down into categories: five books; five resto meals; five movies; five concerts…since time is short, I’ll go random:

• An Android tablet with a Mozilla Firefox browser;
• Vivienne Westwood rocking horse shoes;
• A silver Vespa with matching helmet, and a cat carrier;
• A first edition of De Profundis by Oscar Wilde; and
• The complete Smiths and Morrissey back catalogue!

20. Your fears…?

After my family fell to pieces, my sister wound up in a psych hospital. Here, I suppose, began what is still a major fear for me: the fear of going mad. I understand that people have fears, anxieties, and issues, but still, it dogs me. As does the fear that I may never make it, living on my own—that, after everything, I’ll wind up under a bridge, or licking my wounds and crawling off to my family.

21. Your hopes

Hope is a tricky thing—double-edged and, sometimes, more poisonous than despair. And yet, if I hadn’t a shred of hope as a teen, this might have been a different story, no? So…what do I hope for now? To write every day, to seek work, and look for adventure, to see my poetry on other bookshelves, to be the person I long to be.

22. Academics

My report cards and progress reports—from kindergarten through college—have always been a bit of a mixed bag: super at languages and lit; solid on history and the social sciences; decent on applied sciences; sketchy at maths; dodgy at phys ed.

I can, to an extent, chalk it up to being passionate for the written word, not so much for sweating and fat-shaming over calisthenics. More to it, yes. But another time!